COLUMN: Ask the Money Lady – Addressing FOMO and JOMO

Dear Money Lady Readers – my daughter said to me the other day that she had FOMO and I was DRIPPING in my outfit. “What??” I had no idea what she was talking about.

If you don’t already know, let me tell you what the young are now calling “FOMO” – the “fear of missing out.”

Here’s the other slangs they use: “FOBO” – the “fear of better options” or “JOMO” – the “joy of missing out.”

For the “DRIP” – that means you look good and it’s apparently a compliment. Other Gen’Z jargon I have now learned are “BOUJEE” – which means fancy, “SLAPS” – which means excellent or amazing, “LIT” – meaning really good, “TEA” – meaning gossip, and “FLEX”- meaning to show off.

So, I plan on FLEXING here, to make a really LIT and BOUJEE article for you, so I can explain the FOMO/JOMO and give you all the TEA to all my STAN’s (that means fans or followers). Did you get that?

Okay, no matter what you label it, we all have FOMO feelings, and this is due to social media. It’s available 24/7 in our pocket (on our phone), especially through Instagram. We can instantly feel envy and regret about how others have more or are doing more exciting things. Whether real or not, most forms of social media portray wealth, and we now don’t need to keep up with the neighbours, we need to keep up with the millions of people on social media. The sad part is, it doesn’t make you feel good about your accomplishments thus far but rather makes you feel less about yourself because others have done more or have so much more. Parents today are under constant pressure from social media bombarding them with constant examples of better birthday parties, events and experiences that so-called “better parents do for their kids.”

Why not take a FAST from the FOMO. Turn off the social media, either for a couple of hours, days or weeks. This will do wonders for making you feel better about your own life and perhaps will stop the comparisons of your regular life to the polished versions of those online. Remember that credit card companies build their business on you borrowing from your future. They want you to buy now rather than saving to buy later. With credit, it’s easy to fall for the instant gratification to convince yourself that later can take care of itself. Be careful not to create “excuse spending.” This is when we feel we are justified to spend because we deserve it. We may think all the hard work we have done, the sacrifices we have made, and the lack of acknowledgement for that work and those sacrifices, warrants or entitles us to a splurge spend….because we deserve it. But, what do you really deserve? Do you feel you are missing out?

If you think that material possessions or experiences are the things you deserve, then you need to think again.

What you deserve is to be free from future financial stress. Remember that while those purchases may feel luxurious in the moment, they could land you in financial stress that you don’t deserve. I am not saying that you need to deprive yourself or your children, but if you are suffering from FOMO and feel you need to reach to credit to improve your situation or your kids experiences, remember that enjoying a stress-free financial life, honestly feels a lot better than any new item or birthday bash ever could.

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Christine Ibbotson is a Canadian finance writer, radio host & YouTuber. For more advice check out her YouTube channel: ASK THE MONEY LADY – Your Canadian Finance Coach.