COLUMN: Don’t Mind the Mess – Unanswered prayers

As a little girl, I often longed for silly things.

My mother, aware of my vivid imagination and relentless persistence, never offered false hope or lengthy explanations. Her response to my requests were always a simple, “No.” When I reasoned, pleaded, and promised the world to change her mind, her answer remained the same.

At six years old, I decided I wanted a monkey. Inspired by one of those old “Bonzo” movies from the 1950s, featuring Ronald Reagan, I was captivated by the adorable antics of the chimpanzee. I even started collecting baby clothes for my future pet, confidently telling my teasing older brothers, “You’ll see. I’ll get one.”

Thankfully, this dream never materialized. After researching the challenges of house training such a creature, I opted to raise human babies instead. Though, it’s debatable which is more trainable.

Over the years, my mother continued to smile at my outlandish requests, consistently responding with “no.” She knew that in time, I would understand and even appreciate her refusals.

This experience mirrors my relationship with God. Like my mother, He listens patiently to my prayers, often showing me why my requests can’t be granted. I have to trust that He knows what He’s doing. But it’s not always easy.

Oscar Wilde once said there are only two tragedies in life: not getting what you want and getting it. The phrase, “Be careful what you wish for; you might just get it,” comes to mind. Answered prayers can be just as challenging, as they imply, “You asked for it. Now what will you do with it?”

On some level, we know when we’re not praying for the right thing. We ask God to find us a soulmate instead of helping us become the person our soulmate would be attracted to. We pray for wealth instead of learning to manage the money we have. We seek the perfect outcome instead of asking for peace of mind, regardless of what happens.

Our prayers are always answered, but we dislike hearing “no.” We rationalize, bargain, and beg, convinced we know what’s best. Yet, past experiences and red flags suggest otherwise.

It’s tough when our prayers seem to go unanswered. After the tears and frustration, we might feel, “But He promised!” However, imagine if we said “yes” to every request from our children. With six kids of my own, I can’t fathom the chaos that would ensue.

Children can’t see the bigger picture, and as God’s children, neither can we. God hears both the farmer’s prayer for rain and the family’s prayer for a sunny wedding day. Often, God’s answer is “Wait.” Wait until we have the maturity or wisdom to receive what we desire.

Perhaps the hardest prayers are for patience and trust, but they’re the only ones where a “yes” is guaranteed